Texting with my straight guy friend about his ex who is my friend

By branjoseph, June 11, 2012

Friend: I’ve never seen her that drunk
Me: I never heard her that upset
Friend: I know I got an earful too. Was it frustrating?
Me: No I’m really good at calming people down. I’m like a human Xanax
Friend: Mmmm, I’d swallow you.