July 5, 2010
you are so in my e-pantz a boy
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June 20, 2010
It’s okay, I run this. Britney Spears
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June 18, 2010
I met her and she was so mean to me. She went to a Van Halen show and I went to go say hi to her. My son was there, and she’s like, ‘Yeah, okay… bye’. Valerie Bertinelli [on meeting Christina Aguilera]
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June 17, 2010
I think if two people love each other, then what the hell? I think that everyone should have the chance to be equally miserable, if they want… Eminem [on gay marriage]
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June 15, 2010
the new zac pictures literally made me go downstairs and run on my treadmill Josh S.
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June 12, 2010
If Lindsay Lohan’s life gets any more trashy, it will technically become a Ke$ha song. Guy Branum, Chelsea Lately
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June 10, 2010
Look at her, she probably thinks we’re talking shit on her. She’s so vain. last night at the bar.
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June 7, 2010
You know someone said Comedy is the most awesome thing ever because it rules. And anybody who disagrees can suck it. You know who that someone was? It was me.You know when i said it? Just now. Zac Efron | via gotefron
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June 5, 2010
I like my my music auto-tuned, my pictures photoshopped, my clothing optional, and my pebbles fruity. Joshanizer
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May 31, 2010
its cute, looks like a cannoli Mimi, (on someones penis)
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May 31, 2010
omg i saw this scary dick today Mimi
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May 24, 2010
And now, I take myself, to be my lawfully wedded BITCH. Christina Aguilera, Vanity
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May 14, 2010
Since watching the Kentucky Derby last weekend, it’s got me thinking; What’s my girl Tori Spelling up to? Chelsea Handler
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May 12, 2010
(832): At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept?? (713): Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger. TFLN
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May 5, 2010
I spend most of my days looking at dirty toilets, and those Rorschach tests you call bed sheets. Berta, Two and a Half Men
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May 4, 2010
He’s hot but he has a very angry looking penis. [friend] Gary Robertson
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May 3, 2010
(802): i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol. TFLN
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April 29, 2010
(847): Pro tip: Don’t start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free. TFLN
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April 29, 2010
When one door closes, a bottle of Grey Goose opens. Ray Navarro, even tho I prefer Belv 😉
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April 29, 2010
(412): I’m drinking a margarita out of my ‘best bj’ trophy and it tastes like victory. TFLN
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April 27, 2010
that’s how you give it to me
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April 26, 2010
Where do mangoes come from? Uncle’s blonde girlfriend
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April 25, 2010
(732): i spelled “betch” that way on purpose, don’t question my abilities as a drunk texter. TFLN
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April 24, 2010
(501): recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree TFLN
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April 21, 2010
(816): dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes…I’m ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock… (1-816): Yeah…we all know. it’s the elephant in the room at family gatherings. (816): that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
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April 20, 2010
Grow up and do coke like an adult. Daniel Tosh
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April 20, 2010
…so that potheads have nothing to talk about EVER AGAIN. You are SO ANNOYING. #grow up and do coke like an adult
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April 19, 2010
(908): how convenient is it that the kid i’m fucking lives right next to planned parenthood? TFLN
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